Sunday, April 13, 2014

Hoe & Ale TV

Love is a phenomenon that occurs in human world. Humans love things. Humans love themselves. Humans love each other. Other humans love some humans but not every other human loves all the humans. Only some of them do and most of them love only a few humans. And each one of them is nice because loving is nice. It’s nice and loving. It’s nice and sweet and warm like a blueberry pancake on a Saturday morning.

Blueberry pancakes are very sweet and tasty irrespective of time and day of them being served. A lot of people love them. But blueberry pancakes do not love people because blueberry pancakes do not have sufficiently developed brains. Some scientists argue that pancakes do not have brains at all; that they are just a mixture of eggs, milk, flour and some more flour that flourishes in a frying pan. This tells us that only entities with brains can love. Can animals love? Maybe. But not as consciously as humans do.

Humans understand love but they don’t understand love. They love love and other people and things. It’s great that this exists because it’s nice and is not bad.

People claim that love can be unconditional. Especially in families. But what about abusive families? What about parents who do not shy away from a bottle? Parents who have a crisis of life which they try to remedy by sipping on Hennessy? It’s always children who suffer. Are they loved by their parents? Not enough. Imagine this situation:

Existential Crisis Alcoholic Parent: 'What is love?!!!'
Baby: 'Don’t hurt me!'

Do they love each other? Not enough. This is not good and it is sad and bad.

Sometimes you have to work on your love so it becomes beautiful like love and life and flowers. It smells nice when you breathe it in. Two people bound by love are beautiful people. Beautiful like love and life and flowers and freshly cut grass and a colorful bird. Love inspires, love binds, love hurts, love lives lives, dies deaths and is born again. Love is like a phoenix. It does not mean it originates from Arizona. It means it rises again. If you lost your love it can be found again among ashes because that's where phoenixes rise from. Keep your ashtrays close but don't take them on a motorcycle ride because they are useless there and make sure you don't smoke. Smoking kills and is uncool. Only pricks smoke and nobody should love them. Not even their parents. And if their parents smoke too then they deserve each other.

So as we can see love can be a very complicated subject. It can also be an object if it is acted upon by the subject in a sentence.

Love receives an ‘s’ added at the end when it is used in the third person singular form in present tense and a ‘d’ at the end when it is used in all the people forms in past tense. This part of love only adds to its overall complex complexity that is not simple by any stretch of the imagination.


Hate is a phenomenon which occurs in human world. Humans hate things. Humans hate themselves and they hate each other. Hating is not nice. Hating is bad. Hating is like a smashed up rotten grapefruit that had a really bad day: full of bitterness and anger and bad smell. Hate is fueled by anger and frustration and jealousy and makes you hate things becuase you are angry, frustrated and jealous.

Humans hate a lot of things but most of all they hate other humans. Hatred among humans is the most developed and cultivated type of hatred and a lot of people seem to take great care in taking care of their baby child hatred. They let it suck their tits and they give it toys and candy and pay for its education until it graduates and goes its own way with their parents' blessing and pride. Then they make a new hate becuase life without hate is empty for them like an empty basket or an empty jar of pickles eaten out by a person who really loves pickles or indeed any other empty container like an empty can or something emptied by binmen who hate their jobs on a misty and chilly morning.

Humans do not only hate humans. Humans hate events and things and abstract concepts like hate or love or unpunctuality. There is nothing more humans hate than someone not showing up on time or bus being late or Holocaust or slavery.

In contemporary vocabulary used in modern society by modern society well versed in contemporary vocabulary, someone who hates something is labelled a label: 'hater'. It's a concept of personification of a concept. You take hate, hate and that makes you a hater of the aforementioned something. There is a lot of haters not only out here but out there as well. They hate things like bad music and bananas and Denver Broncos. Which shows that haters are often unreasonable in their hatred because who would hate a banana? That's crazy. It's bananas.

Hate can be very similar to love in some cases. Primarly in the nominative but not only. Similarly to love, hate receives an ‘s’ added at the end when it is used in the third person singular form in present tense and a ‘d’ at the end when it is used in all the people forms in past tense. They are like brothers or sisters or twins from Thailand. But are they? They are not because love comes from Old English meatloaf lufu and hate comes from Old English Haitian hatian. So in a way they are brothers or sisters or twins but not from Thailand - they are from Anglo-Saxon areas which renders them Anglo-Saxon twins. So similar yet so different.

Hate is also a very strong emotion that often lurks in ventilation shafts of buildings that are actually human beings and not buildings (because it's only a metaphor) because people have to vent their hatred from one time to another time. Which is a good and not a bad thing because you don't want it piling up inside of you and make you burst like a bubble with your intestines falling on the faces of your relatives and loved ones making their favourite clothes dirty. They would hate that.

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