Stone

"Help me with this stone. Can't move the damn thing."

"That's what happens when you don't exercise. No strength."

"Yeah, yeah. Come on. Don't just sit there."

"Told you to work out sometimes. That's what you get when you ain't prepared."

"Cut the crap and push from the side."

"Nah, dude. Keep tryin'. I'm gonna sit here and eat my ice cream."

"Yeah? Hope you catch a cold then. It's not even that warm and you're eating your goddamn ice cream."

"I'm cold resistant."

"What's that even mean?"

"I'm resistant to cold. I don't catch it. Even if I was wearing one of those baseball gloves stuffed full of magnets and you just threw a metallic cold at me I wouldn't have caught it."

"Good for you. Now come on, move your ass and help me here."

"Nah. Do it yourself. Where would we be if we didn't move the stones ourselves?"

"Is that a marijuana ice cream? What the hell are you on about?"

"Think about it."

"I would if I wasn't struggling with this goddamn piece of shit rock."

"Harsh. Rock has been very influential throughout the…"

"Very funny. I would fall off a chair if I wasn't standing here. Or I would have taken that chair and…"

"Very funny. Now try the thinking thing I just introduced you to. Where would we be if we didn't move the stones ourselves? Sure we would be better off just waiting for someone to move the stones for us, huh?"

"Wouldn't be against that."

"See, that's the problem."

"Yeah? What's the problem?"

"You wanna have people moving your stones. That's not gonna get you anywhere. You'll only get screwed over. If you want the stone moved to the place you want it to be, you gotta move it yourself."

"Ain't you the philosopher. How is that gonna help me now? I just want this stone moved to the side. So right now I'd take any help I can get. Just push it a bit and I'll roll it further by myself."

"So you just want me to help you start? Let's say I'll do it. We're gonna move it and then what?"

"Then I'll be good."

"Yeah but what if you come across another one of those? And I'm not there to help ya? You gonna struggle some more and hate everything. And you'll get nowhere."

"I'm gonna shoot it with a goddamn bazooka. Yeah, that's what I'll do. I'm just gonna carry around a bazooka and shoot stones."

"Hate to break it to you pal but it's illegal to carry around a bazooka. It's also very dumb and impractical."

"Goddamn government. They got us."

"It's not the government who got you, it's your empty head. Do you wanna be stuck here forever? I wouldn't. It's gonna get dark soon."

"Not really. That's why I asked you to..."

"Yeah, but I might not be here next time. You'll just sit in front of a stone and stare at it?"

"I don't know, man. What's the alternative to bazookas?"

"Work out. Beef up and break a sweat. Own up. It's not too late to start. You only need your hands and your head to move all sorts of crap wherever you wanna."

"Knew you'd say that. I was hoping for something easier."

"It's never easy if you wanna get something right. Been there, done that. Almost got crushed when I was moving my first stone but didn't give up. Was worth it, found a vein of gold. You'll find yours eventually but it ain't gonna wait there forever. Someone else might grab it if you slack around, dude."

"Your ice cream's melting. I'm gonna try again."