He wasn't told to go away.
He was chewed up and spat out.
Out of the window.
Sent plummeting towards his demise.
Face down into a brick road.
Yet somehow survived.
Bid his time.
Climbed back up.
Kept knockin' on the window.
Pleadin'.
Hopin'.
They closed the shutters.
Crushed his fingers.
Sent him flying down... again.
How many times can he fall?
How many times can anyone fall?
Someday he will stop.
Cease to exist.
Sooner or later.
Sooner.
Become extinguished.
Everything has an end.
His end is the end of his everything.
His everything will be the end of him.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Can't
I can't stay here any longer. I have to leave, put the place behind me. Jump into a car and smash the rearview mirror. Fire up the engine and cast off with the screech of tires.
Don't look back.
Never come back.
Coming back... It would mean death.
The place... it became something else. At first, its foundations were laid unbeknownst to anyone, a quiet work on the side, at night, with nobody watching, nobody noticing anything. Beautiful craftsmanship, unlike any I have ever seen was being brought into life during long nights that seamlessly blended into early mornings. It was like a summoning spell bringing the best a different dimension had to offer. The place kept on developing, stacking up on walls and floors, reaching higher and higher every night, every day, every time.
After a while, the people who made it and turned it into their home... they invited me in. Frankly, up to that point I have been looking for a place like that all my life.
So when the question was asked, batting an eyelid wasn't even an option. I moved in.
Jumped in with both feet and dove in.
What a decision that turned out to be. If I was to make it again I would do it a thousand times over.
Everything good that ever happened, happened in the place. Initial fears turned out to be unsubstantiated. Things went smoothly. Things were beautiful. People were beautiful. Wonderful things, wonderful people, palpable emotions filled the interactions between me and them. I wanted it to last forever. I was ready to take it all in. I have given everything.
But the place... it became something else. Cracks started to show. People kept leaving the place and refused to come back. Their ranks, our ranks, grew thinner and thinner. They stopped caring, they stopped asking, stopped answering, just stopped. Slowly drifted away and took a sharp turn behind the horizon.
Worst part was I had no idea why.
Why? Why... WHY?
I guess what I've given wasn't enough to keep them.
I was left alone.
So today I finally gathered up the courage to look around me. I looked at the place for the last time. I'm still looking at it. It reminded me, still reminds me, of all that was ever good in my life. Every wall, every inch, every empty space contained within the place is a relic of the past, a museum exhibition of happy, kind, silent moments that were no longer. It crumbled. Nothing is invincible. Nothing ever lasts.
That's the death.
Despite the pain it eventually brought, I still kept on believing that we could restore the place to its former glory. But the people... they wouldn't listen. I know they could hear me but they wouldn't listen.
They moved on and I stayed behind.
Now it's my turn to go.
I'm standing here, at the porch, with my luggage packed.
Torn. Lost. Confused.
I still believe...
But...
I don't want to go but I have to.
I can't go but I want to.
I need to...
Staying at the place would drive me insane. I would live in everything that I wanted but was never meant to be.
That's... beyond my strength.
I wasn't strong enough. I'm too weak.
But it wasn't me who gave up on the place.
What difference does it make now...
Question is... What do I do now?
The people... I can barely hear them.
What are they saying?
Do I take the step forward? Into where? Towards what?
What if someone comes back to the place?
I don't want to leave......
I have to...
I can't, I can't, I can't
Don't look back.
Never come back.
Coming back... It would mean death.
The place... it became something else. At first, its foundations were laid unbeknownst to anyone, a quiet work on the side, at night, with nobody watching, nobody noticing anything. Beautiful craftsmanship, unlike any I have ever seen was being brought into life during long nights that seamlessly blended into early mornings. It was like a summoning spell bringing the best a different dimension had to offer. The place kept on developing, stacking up on walls and floors, reaching higher and higher every night, every day, every time.
After a while, the people who made it and turned it into their home... they invited me in. Frankly, up to that point I have been looking for a place like that all my life.
So when the question was asked, batting an eyelid wasn't even an option. I moved in.
Jumped in with both feet and dove in.
What a decision that turned out to be. If I was to make it again I would do it a thousand times over.
Everything good that ever happened, happened in the place. Initial fears turned out to be unsubstantiated. Things went smoothly. Things were beautiful. People were beautiful. Wonderful things, wonderful people, palpable emotions filled the interactions between me and them. I wanted it to last forever. I was ready to take it all in. I have given everything.
But the place... it became something else. Cracks started to show. People kept leaving the place and refused to come back. Their ranks, our ranks, grew thinner and thinner. They stopped caring, they stopped asking, stopped answering, just stopped. Slowly drifted away and took a sharp turn behind the horizon.
Worst part was I had no idea why.
Why? Why... WHY?
I guess what I've given wasn't enough to keep them.
I was left alone.
So today I finally gathered up the courage to look around me. I looked at the place for the last time. I'm still looking at it. It reminded me, still reminds me, of all that was ever good in my life. Every wall, every inch, every empty space contained within the place is a relic of the past, a museum exhibition of happy, kind, silent moments that were no longer. It crumbled. Nothing is invincible. Nothing ever lasts.
That's the death.
Despite the pain it eventually brought, I still kept on believing that we could restore the place to its former glory. But the people... they wouldn't listen. I know they could hear me but they wouldn't listen.
They moved on and I stayed behind.
Now it's my turn to go.
I'm standing here, at the porch, with my luggage packed.
Torn. Lost. Confused.
I still believe...
But...
I don't want to go but I have to.
I can't go but I want to.
I need to...
Staying at the place would drive me insane. I would live in everything that I wanted but was never meant to be.
That's... beyond my strength.
I wasn't strong enough. I'm too weak.
But it wasn't me who gave up on the place.
What difference does it make now...
Question is... What do I do now?
The people... I can barely hear them.
What are they saying?
Do I take the step forward? Into where? Towards what?
What if someone comes back to the place?
I don't want to leave......
I have to...
I can't, I can't, I can't
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Fade
Know this
feeling, falling into the ocean
Keep on
falling, that’s all you’ve got left
Know this
feeling, emptying your emotions
They take
their time, they’ve had their fill
Crash
against the tide, diving into the ocean
Keep on
diving, that’s all you’ve got left
Crash
against the tide, overtaken by the motion
The deeper
you end up, the easier to let go
Filled with
silence, drifting into the ocean
Keep on drifting,
that’s all you’ve got left
Filled with
silence, moving with devotion
It will be over,
it’s almost the end
Breathe no
more, fading into the ocean
Keep on
fading, that’s all you’ve got left
Breathe no
more, soak in the deadly potion
Close your eyes,
lay yourself to rest
---
Filled with
silence, drifting into the ocean
Keep on
drifting, that’s all you’ve got left
Filled with
silence, moving with devotion
It will be
over, it’s almost the end
Breathe no
more, fading into the ocean
Keep on
fading, that’s all you’ve got left
Breathe no
more, soak in the deadly potion
Close your
eyes, lay yourself to rest
Monday, December 22, 2014
Bar Fi...Party!
Walked into a bar and sat down
Said "I'll have a drink"
They looked at me like something was not right
'Spose they knew my deal
"What you can have is a fist to the face"
They said and gathered 'round
Guess they haven't forgotten the last time
Blood stilly dry under heels
Still dry under their heels
Had to do it all over again
Pulled a switchblade from my shoe
The tall one charged at me, furiously
I dodged and turned and cut his cheek
Bored I sighed and let my guard down
Fat one caught my arm
"What happened, boy, I thought you were faster"
He hissed through missing teeth
I said, "No, my friend, I'm just getting started"
And I broke his fucking wrist
Swear everyone else joined in after that one
Welcome back, Miss Deja Vu
Guess I wasn't gonna get my drink
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Concrete Vigilantism Ain't Gotta Be A Bad Thing If The Reasons Are Right
I want to be the real deal.
I want to do some good for this world.
If that means driving over bad people in a cement truck, count me in.
See, I thought about this.
Just me, The Cause, concrete, horsepower. United to take a stand.
A giant, orange concrete mixer with a big "HAVE A NICE FUCKING DAY" written on it.
Breezing through streets, fighting crime and injustice.
Settling scores with the bad guys, battling demons of the night.
Sheding light into dark corners of The City.
Fresh concrete sloshing around, turning dicks into statues.
Combined superpowers of cement, gravel and water; harbingers of peace.
Stuff of legends.
What glory. Man.
Give me a truck and enough concrete and I'll save the galaxy.
Gonna need a driver's license too while we're at it.
Streets will be safe again. Lives of many will be preserved.
You'd want that, wouldn't you?
Unless you're a bad guy, in which case I hope you like the taste of CONCRETE FURY.
I want to do some good for this world.
If that means driving over bad people in a cement truck, count me in.
See, I thought about this.
Just me, The Cause, concrete, horsepower. United to take a stand.
A giant, orange concrete mixer with a big "HAVE A NICE FUCKING DAY" written on it.
Breezing through streets, fighting crime and injustice.
Settling scores with the bad guys, battling demons of the night.
Sheding light into dark corners of The City.
Fresh concrete sloshing around, turning dicks into statues.
Combined superpowers of cement, gravel and water; harbingers of peace.
Stuff of legends.
What glory. Man.
Give me a truck and enough concrete and I'll save the galaxy.
Gonna need a driver's license too while we're at it.
Streets will be safe again. Lives of many will be preserved.
You'd want that, wouldn't you?
Unless you're a bad guy, in which case I hope you like the taste of CONCRETE FURY.
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